The trauma and stress caused by infertility is exhaustive and challenges the strength and resilience of many. Individuals find that previous coping skills that provided regular stress relief in everyday life are no longer sufficient for the chronic and often difficult and ambiguous infertility journey. New coping skills must be acquired to adapt and manage the complex and sometimes unrelenting stress symptoms of infertility.
It’s important to first recognize that by human nature, we are psychologically hardwired to pursue comfort in life. So when infertility reality becomes chronic and produces loss, disappointment, confusion and despair, it is human nature to consider fight or flight choices in an effort to resolve and/or avoid the discomfort. Eventually helplessness can set in, because even with best efforts to resolve infertility there often isn’t much progress- at least not soon enough. This loss of control is challenging and produces intense psychological stress and pressures. Here are some simple ways you can manage the stress and cope with this difficult time in your life:
DON’T HESITATE TO ASK FOR HELP
During this time, you’ll feel a lot. Emotions are heightened and the grief storm is intense. Do you punish or validate those feelings? Do you allow yourself to feel at all? Be especially kind, patient, gracious and loving to yourself during this time. Validate your experience. If the struggle to regulate emotions becomes too difficult, seek out counseling support or talk with others who can encourage you in this journey.
Joanna Flemons, MSW, LCSW, CPC
Joanna Flemons is the owner of Highlands Ranch Counseling and Coaching and has been in the field since 1998. She is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Social Worker specializing in infertility counseling.
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